The elephant in the room

If you think about the first three scenarios, meeting a client, team member or family, everyone has their own agenda. Each party comes with a set of assumptions, ideals and objectives that could be very different to the person sitting next to them. There are definitely a few elephants in the room. 

Elephants in the room are all the things ‘not being talked about’. The situations where everyone nods in silent compliance, meanwhile a missile-fire of objections and ulterior arguments are whizzing round inside their heads, threatening to burst out through their ears in a shower of fury or fireworks. It’s the situation where everyone agrees with what the boss has just said; but will go straight home and rant about it to their partner. 

In these situations, truly great leaders will stand up and be counted. They will offer their honest views, even if they’re unpopular with the masses. They will stand up to what they believe in and be willing to be pushed and probed on that. Often, once they’ve aired an alternative view, other people will have the confidence to admit their own questions or reservations. 

So why doesn’t this happen with friends? Well, potentially it does, depending on your group. But for me and my friends, I think we’ve all grown up being entirely honest with each other. Often far too honest! If you’re feeling angry, you’ll tell people about it and you’ll explain exactly why. Unhappy about something someone did? You confront them and sort it out. Excited about possible changes in your life? You go straight to them to spill the beans, because they always give the right response.